It is the policy of Inside Magic to publish letters to the editor when necessary to fill gaps in our front page or when required by court order. Letters to the editor should be addressed to, ironically, email@example.com. Inside Magic reserves the right to modify, shorten, lengthen or completely change the sent correspondence and, if necessary, include funny pictures to take away from the seriousness of same.
Greetings in the name of our Lord, I am (Mrs) *** ******, a widow to Late ****, I am 34 years old, I am now a new religious convert … My late husband was killed with his business associate and during the period of our marriage we couldn’t produce any child.
My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. I now decided to divide part of this wealth, to contribute to the development of the church in Asia, Africa, America and Europe.
I selected your church after visiting the website and I prayed over it, I am willing to donate the sum of US$5,000 000.00 (Five Million US Dollars) to your Church for the development of your church and also for the less privileged.
Please, do not reply me if you have the intention of using this fund for personal use. Please If I reach you as I am hopeful I will, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable my LAWYER conclude the legal duty.
Also to be sent to me is the biodata page of your international passport or drivers licence as a proper identification.
You can reach me on my alternative email box easily: firstname.lastname@example.org
I await your soonest reply as you could.
Inside Magic’s Reply:
Dear Mrs. *****:
Although we did not know your husband all that well – in fact, we barely remember him from our days in your home community but that is no doubt the regrettable effect of our weeks of hard work and tireless efforts to do noble things in that strange land he called home – we are happy to accept your offer of $5,000,000.00 for our yet to be formed Church. (We will start the forming as soon as your funds arrive, don’t you worry your little head about that).
We certainly agree that the funds should not be used for our personal vanities but dedicated exclusively to The Church of Inside Magic® and its dedicated staff of very pious clergy; with a special emphasis on improving the lives of those who would travel so far to worship at our yet to be built gold and ivory altar.
As you know, The Church of Inside Magic® emphasizes the inner-being and eschews those in this sad epoch who worship the outer, false entities. Consequently, you are no doubt aware we do not permit our clergy or the lay ministry to carry any form of identification including a drivers’ license (or licensce) and certainly would never allow our images to be captured for the purpose of recordation through the alleged “passport” system foisted upon the clueless masses as a means of emphasizing the outer, shell of humanness to the detriment of the inner soul of personness.
We suspect your request that we send our drivers’ license (or licence) and international passport was merely a test to see if we were indeed true to our faith. We were and remain so. Continue reading “Letters to the Editor: Church of Inside Magic®”