Magician David Copperfield and French supermodel Chloe Gosselin are the proud parents of a 16-month-old baby girl, Sky.
We are not sure whether she will go by the last name Copperfield or Gosselin or some combination of the two surnames. We have a team working on that issue and should be able to post the answer shortly. Mother and father live in Mr. Copperfield’s private island.
This news comes to us from the almost never reliable New York Post newspaper. Worse still, it comes from the least reliable portion of that tabloid, Page 6.
Our editors believe there is sufficient indicia of credibility to permit publication of this great news here on the hallowed pages of the oldest magic news site with a domain name consisting of a preposition and the word “magic.”
Inside Magic congratulates Mr. Copperfield and Ms. Gosselin on their blessed event.
On the other hand, The Post drives us nutty.
Because they lack creativity or they are lazy, the New York Post’s coverage led with the blasé.
Abraca-baby . . . Illusionist David Copperfield has become a dad after his French girlfriend, Chloe Gosselin, gave birth to a beautiful girl, Sky, Page Six can exclusively reveal.
Seriously? That’s your lead, “Abraca-baby”?
Abraca-baby is not even internally consistent much less witty.
“Abraca” comes from a pagan or gnostic incantation that may or may not have been derived from a god or scary beast/entity that either destroyed or created things to destroy and was then used on an amulet to bring health or ward off those things that could cause one to be in bad health or to kill things already within one’s corporeal being that caused a current state of bad health.
Yes, magicians use the term “abracadabra” but we have conducted an extensive online analysis of every show performed by David Copperfield since his turning pro and we find no evidence that the ever used the term on stage.
Teaming half of an incantation used by weirdos to ineffectual ends two thousand years ago with the word “baby” does not enlighten or educate readers.
Why not split up other words and attach their parts to the word baby?
“Hocus-baby,” “Pocus-baby,” “Sesame-baby,” “Open-baby,” or even “Shaz-baby” or “Zam-baby” are about the same. If we used the magic incantation favored by today’s most modern, hip street magicians in the New York Post’s formula we would have “Hey, look-baby,” “Dude, check this-baby” or “Wait, watch-baby.”
There are readers who will no doubt suggest our recent Nobel Prize for Literature has gone to our head and is, in part, responsible for this rant against bad gossip-page lead writing. Perhaps, but as the Nobel Committee said about us “[Inside Magic is] who in his plays[or articles on magic] uncovers the precipice under everyday prattle and forces entry into oppression’s closed rooms [while reporting on the latest in magic news].”
Some will suggest this is just a bastardization of the Nobel Committee’s praise of Harold Pinter. Some will point to the historical record and rub our ever-moist nose into “reality” all the while arrogantly insisting we accept their version of the 2005 Nobel Awards decision. They deny the reality of the controversial events leading to the Nobel Committee’s biased and hasty choice of a playwright with a significant body of work versus a magic-oriented web site that specializes in launching into obscure tangents from stories of little interest.
We note that not a single one of Harold “Nobel Award Winning Author” Pinter’s plays, monologues, essays or lectures includes gratuitous and unnecessary images of Lindsay Lohan, Sue-Anne Webster, Nozomi Sasaki, Dorothy Dietrich, Melinda Saxe, Ariann Black, Magic Babe Ning, Maggie Fox, Holly Madison, Stephanie Courtney, Sally Rand or lesser known female models used as an editorial crutch to distract readers from contrived prose layered thinly over bruised egos and poor self-esteem.
Actually, we wrote exactly that to the Nobel folks as soon as we heard Inside Magic was out of the running for the big prize. They responded in their usual “better than you” attitude we have come to expect from anonymous judges of artistic value.
We are martyrs for our art. We have readers who write that they feel our pain when they read our articles; or something like that.
Our congratulations to the new mother and father even though it is about 16 months late. Still congratulations are in order.
Read more about David Copperfield and His Lovely Girlfriend as Parents here:
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