Nathan Kranzo dropped us a line to boast he has completed his Holiday shows and has apparently completed shopping and/or decided which household objects will be re-gifted to loved ones.
We have finished nothing. We had great plans for this year. We were going to develop a comprehensive schedule for shows, surveys, and shopping. We thought it wise to include “surveying” as a task this year to ensure our gifts were desired – or would at least be tolerated.
Our idea of giving library books last year did not earn the type of admiration and praise we expected. We thought it showed the ultimate in consideration and thought.
It was a gift they would return and yet we picked out books we thought they would enjoy. Some saw it as cheap. Coincidentally, those who considered our gesture miserly, were the very same who failed to return the books on time, thereby incurring late fees.
In the spirit of the holidays, we offered to split the penalties but some recipients lacked the grace and maturity to accept the offer without sarcasm or acerbic comments about us.
Those people are off our list this year. That means we only need to buy for two people outside the immediate family. And yet, we still have not moved in any substantive way to make those purchases. Danger lurks where procrastination encounters frugality.
For the man who takes care of our car, we intend to buy a gift certificate to an area dry cleaner.
We realize tow truck operators are not supposed to be judged on their cleanliness or fashion sense, but every time we see him hitching up our 5 cylinder Mustang GT, he looks slovenly.
We think people would feel more accepting of his lowly and despicable job of repossessing vehicles if he dressed as if he was doing a job rather than engaging in a very annoying hobby.
For our newest object of far-away and unrequited feelings of inappropriate desires, Nozomi Sasaki, we will keep with tradition and send her what we sent to her predecessors in the role of object of creepy attention, a custom made block of Post-It Notes® with poetry on each individual sheet.
Miss Sasaki is what the Japanese call a gravure idol. We have no idea what “gravure” means. At first we thought it was that jelly that has bits of rind mixed in. Apparently that is not even close. You can see Nozomi Sasaki as the front person for Lotte’s Fit Gum campaign here. She performs magic but we feel very confident the transformations are camera trickery, though. Be careful listening, however. The song will stick to your brain like well-chewed gum.
Neither Tonya Harding or Lindsay Lohan ever returned our gifts or turned it over to local authorities as evidence, ergo, it is the perfect gift.
But because Nozomi Sasaki is Japanese, we spent extra time writing many of the poems in Haiku form. We are thoughtful, no?
Here is one of the poems:
Hoping to back palm whole deck
Fingers bleed always
But Nathan Kranzo does not have to worry about creating an international incident by sending an unsolicited gift about bloody digits trying to back palm 52 cards effectively. Nay, he has completed his work. He can now play with his kids and offer readers of Inside Magic a gift.
Mr. Kranzo describes his gift as “one of my favorite card effects.”
We understand he has not tipped it before today and we can see why. It is very good and we really like the patter.
CLICK HERE FOR YOUR FREE HOLIDAY CARD EFFECT!!!
But that’s not all, Mr. Kranzo is also offering a Buy One – Get One Free sale through January 2, 2011.
Order any of his more than 27 DVDs, effects, or downloads, and get another one of lesser value for free.
After you order, send Mr. Kranzo an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and he’ll hook you up.
Be sure to check out his great site here: http://www.kranzomagic.com.