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While Inside Magic does not usually cast stones or even pass them, we are taking a position on this ridiculous ?debate? between the Close-Up Magicians for Truth and the True Magicians of Close-Up.
No doubt you have seen their ads all over the Net. You can?t even do a search on MSN without one or the other group?s pop-up popping up with those stupid videos. We looked at both advertising campaigns and found both to be lacking in truth, substance and class. They are all a result of the recent changes in the OSHA regulations as they apply to the Parlor Magician.
I don?t need to remind you of the radical and expensive requirements of the new act: no fire (without a firefighter present), no razor blades or needles in mouth, no finger or hand chopper (without a Orthopedic surgeon present), no needle or knife through arm, and no mouth coils (without a dental surgeon and dental hygienist present).
Read On . . .
Some have opined this is really nothing more than a full-employment act for physicians and firefighters. I don?t know about that. I do know that I can?t wait until these ads are history.
Close-Up Magicians for Truth:
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Tony Spain |
30 second flash animated ad featuring Tony Spain standing before the silhouettes of other ?Close-Up Magicians for Truth.?
…
![]() |
While Inside Magic does not usually cast stones or even pass them, we are taking a position on this ridiculous ?debate? between the Close-Up Magicians for Truth and the True Magicians of Close-Up.
No doubt you have seen their ads all over the Net. You can?t even do a search on MSN without one or the other group?s pop-up popping up with those stupid videos. We looked at both advertising campaigns and found both to be lacking in truth, substance and class. They are all a result of the recent changes in the OSHA regulations as they apply to the Parlor Magician.
I don?t need to remind you of the radical and expensive requirements of the new act: no fire (without a firefighter present), no razor blades or needles in mouth, no finger or hand chopper (without a Orthopedic surgeon present), no needle or knife through arm, and no mouth coils (without a dental surgeon and dental hygienist present).
Read On . . .
Some have opined this is really nothing more than a full-employment act for physicians and firefighters. I don?t know about that. I do know that I can?t wait until these ads are history.
Close-Up Magicians for Truth:
![]() |
Tony Spain |
30 second flash animated ad featuring Tony Spain standing before the silhouettes of other ?Close-Up Magicians for Truth.?
Here?s the copy:
There are magicians out there that want to tell you Close-Up Magic isn?t Close-Up unless it is done close-up. They would have you believe that only a magician who performs within six feet of his spectator is a Close-Up Magician.
The facts are straight forward, we haven?t had ?parlors? in the US
since 1942 and so Parlor Magicians are really Close-Up Magicians. But Parlor Magicians don?t perform within six feet of the viewer, so what are they supposed to do?
If there aren?t any more parlors around, they?re without a place to perform. That?s simply wrong. Tell the True Magicians of Close-Up that you?re tired of their discrimination and hate. Give Parlor Magicians a chance to perform.
The True Magicians of Close-Up had a predictable response:
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Winnie Wonder |
30 second flash animated ad with Winnie Wonder from New Zealand.
?The Truth About Close-Up?
There is one thing that separates a Close-Up Magician from a Parlor Magician ? soap. Close-Up Magicians have to be well-groomed, recently bathed and able to use a toothbrush. Why? Because they perform within what is called the B.O. Zone.
Have you ever had a ?Close-Up Magician? lean towards you, asking you to take a card from his dirty, grimy deck held by his nicotine-stained fingers with long, sharp fingernails. You smell his breath and instinctively you look at your shoe, wondering if you stepped in something.
Parlors may be gone but not class. If Parlor Magicians have no where to go, they should back up rather than move closer to Close-Up. No one wants to smell them, see them or be touched by them under the guise of loading a set of sponge rabbits.
Analysis:
Mr. Spain has been lobbying for years to expand the category of ?Close-Up? to include Parlor Magicians. Ms. Wonder is apparently just an attractive talking head brought in to counter Mr. Spain?s disgusting visage.
It is not clear why Mr. Spain wants to expand the boundaries of ?Close-Up? to include performances more than six feet from the spectator. It seems to be a silly debate but clearly somebody cares ? both ad campaigns are estimated to cost over $200,000.00.
Let?s look at Mr. Spain?s ad first: 1) ?Close-Up? means within six feet of the audience. In the Houdin Pact of 1859, there was an agreement that Close-Up would be from ?zero to two meters from the nose of the closest audience member.? I am guessing that two meters must be close to six feet. Alexander Hamilton wrote in a footnote to Federalist Papers Number 10, ?It is not likely that an enlightened statesman will always be at the helm. In that way, it is like the Close-Up Magi who is too far away to be seen. Close-up to me is no more than five and half to six feet away.? In my opinion, then, the True Close-Up Magicians win this one.
2) Parlors have been gone since 1942. He is pulling this one out of his Toppit. I have no clue how he came up with the date. In a book recently published by the outstanding magic historian, Alex Direct, ?Parlors, When Did They Vanish?? he argues the parlor was around until 1967. He also points out that no magician in the U.S. actually performed in a Parlor. They would perform in rooms like a parlor. Says Mr. Direct, ?A Parlor was a wonderful place for the English women to meet or the English men to talk but it was not a place for magic shows. Magic shows were performed in the drawing room or ballroom.? In my opinion, the True Close-Up Magicians win this one too.
3) Because Parlors are gone, there is no place for Parlor Magicians to perform. On its face, this argument has some appeal but when you think about it, it?s just plain stupid. The magician is not defined by the location of performance. If parlors were never really popular in the States, there were likely no Parlor Magicians anyway. The True Close-Up Magicians get this one as well.
Let?s look at Winnie Wonder?s ad:1) Parlor Magicians smell badly. I believe Ms. Wonder is basing this argument on the New York Times article of two years ago, ?Here?s a Trick, Take a Shower.? While that undercover article did explore the grimy world of unhygienic magicians, it never said all non-Close-Up magicians stink of doggie doo. I give this one to Close-Up Magicians for Truth.
2) Close-Up Magicians do not smell badly. This argument is really a matter of opinion. I have seen some fantastic Close-Up Magicians that smelled like curdled milk. I agree that most Close-Up performers brush their teeth more often than their Stage or Parlor counterparts but I don?t think this is a reason to discriminate against them. The nicotine-stained fingers and pointy fingernails is accurate, however. Close-Up Magicians seem to care about the condition of their hands and try to make their fingers look clean. Most Stage and Parlor Magicians, however, have hands that look like they belong on crack addicts. (No offense to crack addicts).
3) If Parlor Magicians have no where to go, they should become Stage Magicians, not Close-Up Magicians. Whatever. I think Ms. Wonder was reaching on this one. There is no reason a Parlor Magician would be unable to groom sufficiently to do Close-Up. I am not saying they would accomplish the appropriate level of cleanliness with one shower or even a pressure washing. But eventually, as the smallest rivers wear away at rock and make a mighty canyon, the cleaning process would bring results.
Conclusion
Overall, I think this is a ridiculous debate. But like all such money-fed media-frenzies, it is one that needs to be endured, distilled, considered and then ignored. No one has performed true Parlor Magic in years. If it wasn?t for the new OSHA regulations concerning the performance of magic in a ?Parlor-Like Setting,? and the associated insurance costs from the new safety requirements, we wouldn?t be debating this. It makes no sense why a magician can do a chick pan within six feet of an audience member but a Parlor Magician cannot do a dove pan without the presence of a certified fire-fighter. You?ll note that the new OSHA regulations do not permit you to be your own fire-fighter. You must have someone other than you ready to put out the rubbing alcohol flame.
Recall a few years back when California was going to make it illegal to shoot a weapon at someone?s face, or shove a ?sword, dagger or knife? through a person, or burn a person alive? This was clearly and anti-magician regulation and thanks to the unique coalition of magicians and gang members (especially the Crypts and the Bloods) we defeated this intrusion into one of the more spectacular effects we can do ? the Bullet Catching Trick.
I suggest that we all write to our congressman or congresswoman and ask them to overturn the new OSHA regulations that sit on our Art like a ?fat man on a little boy?s chest.? Maybe, one day, these ads will only be funny memories and not the constant interruption in our web surfing.
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