One of the questions we get from those who would ask us questions is, “Why isn’t Inside Magic updated on an hourly, daily, weekly or even monthly basis?”
At first we deny that we are associated with the journal but there are images of us floating around the internet and people find us out.
For instance, we used to do a bunch of TikTok videos. They weren’t magic oriented, per se. We would show different comb-over techniques for men of our advanced age. We’d do the front to back, the side parts and even the split down the middle from ear to ear so that when people would whisper to us, they would be whispering into our nose.
We tried to integrate some magic into our TikToks with a vanishing card routine where the card would appear to dance to music and dance up stairs before turning around and dance down. It took 20 hours to film and necessitated the hiring of a crew of 15 people. Granted, the craft services table made things bearable and our director was a specialist in such videos. He was also 15 years old and his manager was a pain to deal with.
We tried to go it alone and filmed videos showing why men of our advanced age shouldn’t wear eye-make-up or not trim our eye-brows or forget to trim our nose hair. Those failed miserably.
We then did some research and learned the best TikTok response came from wearing different tennis shoes and making them magically change as one is dancing up and down stairs. We tripped often in the tennis shoes because they were borrowed from neighbors. Some were too large and looked clownish. One of our neighbors is a clown so that made for even more trips and falls. Some were too small and pretty beat-up. Those also led to falls.
We finished the shoe series and then released what we thought was a hysterical behind the scenes TikTok showing our attempts to dance up and down carpeted stairs. The behind the scenes video drew less than the original video and even that was in the low 6 or 7 views.
TikTok is a tough scene.
We then tried reading books in 15 second increments. We started with Moby Dick and viewership dropped off when we started doing the accents we imagined the characters would use. The entire book reading was submitted for a Mono Award for best video reading of a classic book. We didn’t win. We think the accents were not accepted by the judges. Whatever. Artists are always disrespected whilst they live. Just look at Picasso. While he was alive, his TikTok videos must have been so badly received that you can’t find a single one on the platform.
Then we hit upon a genius idea that we think will skyrocket us to fame among Tik-Tokkers. It was quite by accident. Being of our special heritage, we come from a long line of people with lousy teeth. In fact, the next time you meet with us, you can inspect them and we can challenge you to find the one real tooth left.
Anyway, we went to the dentist and got as much work as our insurance would allow. We finished up and went to our favorite soup restaurant here in WeHo. Our mouth was numb and our lips were too. Each spoonful of tomato soup thus divided neatly between some in our mouth and some pouring down our numb lips and on to our freshly pressed white t-shirt. We filmed it and put it up on the platform. The response was tremendous. For three days, we were in the top 900 videos. Then some others did their versions and we couldn’t keep up. They ate spaghetti with meat sauce, cheese pizzas, and a handful of chickpeas, and even smoothies of different colors.
The originator of the numb lips challenge was forgotten and we moved on with our life.