These famous words were uttered by Winston Churchill but they were about an actual crutch and his lack of need for them after a car crash whilst touring America. But it still fits.
We love the Magic Castle and we love reporting on the latest acts that appear in the various rooms but we also fear that we may bore audiences of Inside Magic by reporting only on magic seen there.
Our solution is to talk about the food we had and then work our way into the magic on stage.
We went with a delicious Beef Wellington (speaking of Churchill) and our beloved had the manicotti. Both meals were expertly cooked and good enough to eat – as we proved.
We performed downstairs in the amateur rooms as permitted by the Man, Matt Vizio. He runs the joint and if he says you can perform, you’re good to go. He let us do two shows and we are in his debt for the honor of performing for such wonderful audiences.
The beauty of performing at the Magic Castle is that people are coming to see magic. They are not hoping for a tribute to Queen or a demonstration of weaving from indigenous folk. Although, ironically, we do wear a Freddy Mercury leotard woven by indigenous weavers from Scotland. We chafe and we sweat but we feel we do both sources justice. We no longer sing because of requests from virtually everyone we have ever met. The New York Times said of our act, “It makes you long for Freddy Mercury in his prime or at any age and true indigenous weavers.” Notably, the review got our name wrong; calling us Tom Quinine, so the review has not hurt our career.
Dana Daniels and Richard Allen brought their world-famous “The No Show” to the Palace of Mystery. We laughed so hard that we feared we would pass-out. Seriously. We could not stop laughing as Mr. Daniels did his escape routine that the air was not getting to our lungs, brain or heart. We tried to think of unfunny things but it would not work. We tried to breathe deeply, but our lungs were laughing too hard. It was a funny situation for our body and we didn’t mind.
Audiences had a chance to see the new Luigi. His predecessor worked with Mr. Daniels for almost three decades before passing on. The new Luigi is just as beautiful parrot with a penchant for cheating at mentalism.
The No Show should not be missed. Let’s assume you have something else to do for some reason, you should not do it. You should go see The No Show instead. Water skiing, mountain climbing, any form of fungal removal? None are sufficient reasons to miss The No Show. Although if the fungal removal has been delayed for, say, years, it might be a good time to see a specialist and avoid crowds. Nay, not a single reason can justify missing this show.
Well, except for one reason.
In the Close-Up Gallery, the lovely Ms. Joan DuKore is performing the early shows (7:00 • 7:45 • 8:30 • 9:15) and puts on a great show. If we had talent, grace and could perform, we would be Ms. DuKore. She hails from Las Vegas and relates much of her performance to Sin City. Her card handling is great, she works with bunnies and she performs effects that you have likely never seen before in your sheltered, protected life – but in a good way, not like you were in prison.
The bottom line: Eat the Beef Wellington, Watch The No Show and enjoy Joan DuKore. Don’t worry about passing out due to hypoxia, it’s a myth.