Congratulations to David Blaine and French model fiancée Alizee Guinochet.
We read TV3.ie religiously – it is a strange religion; to have a ritual where the devout read a particular Irish television-centric web site. But it is our religion and we read the U.S. Constitution to protect that right – no matter how others may judge. Plus Channel 3 in Ireland has a four-hour special about how people shouldn't judge religions that may sound strange or different. Oh, by the way, do you want to buy a copy of our seminal religious text, TV Guide This Weeks and Puzzles?
David Blaine and the lovely and now slightly larger than a size 0 model Alizee Guinochet made the announcement at a cancer charitable event on a roof top someplace.
We say the event was "someplace" because there were 300 hits for the news item but not one had a location for the event other than "a rooftop."
We were able to do some detective work and determined it was not in Pueblo, Colorado.
The houses there are built into the side of cliffs (at least the cool ones) and they technically don't have rooftops and even if they did, it would be too scary to stand on an adobe clay roof at night when one is drinking (except for Ms. Guinochet and the future heir to the Blaine magic estate.).
We also ruled out Santa Fe, New Mexico.
The city planners do not permit buildings higher than the tallest historic structure — about eight feet. Santa Fe — named after Saint Fay, a red-headed dwarf martyr who was burned near a stake by heathens who mistook her for a safety match – is home to statistically the shortest individuals who by contrast make the buildings look “normal” height.
We were quite sure it was not Asunción or Ciudad del Este in Paraguay.
The U.S. State Department advises American travelers to avoid outdoor nighttime events. The State Department warns there is a high risk of injury or death due to intentional or accidental gunfire from by bad guys with guns and little ability to aim.
(Actual listing from Ireland's TV3 Week's Guide for the day on which David Blaine announced his happy news. Coincidence, we think not.).
We were about to give up. We felt dejected and defeated. We decided to use the restroom to do some thinking.
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