As you know, because of my fame I have worked around the world performing for standing room audiences as well as many theaters where there were chairs for everyone — but just enough.
My expertise in magic is second to none, as you know. And yet I offer this help to you, the questioning mob of pubic magicians. Why? Does Don Timoteo make money doing this?
A little, but not enough to put up with some of the questions I receive or the ridicule thrusted on me like a Watchtower Magazine through the slightly opened door to my inner-most soul.
The other professionals, like that reindeer with the glowing nose, do not like me to be different. “Oh, Don Timoteo, you should be like us. You should never reveal the secrets to our art to the common magician. That is like throwing the baby pig out with its pearl-wearing babysitter!”
Don Timoteo does not care. He does not hear much of it and that which he hears he does not understand.
So bring your questions to Don Timoteo. I promise on my honor that so long as you show reverence for my incredible talent, and historic place in history, you will be fine. You will not be faced with the wrath like someone who sticks his face in a pie-throwing booth at the Wrath Festival.
I know many men would like me to tell all of my secrets of love or the conquests my secrets have earned. But I am first a gentleman and would never reveal the what has been secreted by me and my many lovers.
So, instead, I answer questions about magic. Love’s magic is a secret I will not reveal.
What is fanning powder and where can I buy it other than at the magic store? They rip me off there. Everything is more expensive because they say, “you’re not really buying the props, you’re buying the secret.” So if it’s just powder that helps you fan cards, what’s the secret that I’d pay an extra $5.00 for?
By the way, I loved you on The Flinging Nun with Sally Fields. Yes, I am that old! I liked her before she was in Forrest Gump or Sybil.
Your Fan, N. Warner Douglas, IA
Don Timoteo Responds:
My friend. From your first name, Norman, I know you are not Spanish and so the subtle but oh so impotent differences between titles is probably of little meaning to your head.
I am not “Senior Timoteo” but Don Timoteo. I am thinking you meant to say “Señor Timoteo” but even this would have been wrong and to another man with much less class and noble heritage, it would have been the last words you said. I am the fifth generation of my family’s royal tradition. I am a Don, of noble birth. My family’s tree is thick and filled with leaves. It traces back to España and the mystery of the love that clings to the Spanish land like a scared two-year-old clings to his mother’s thick, hairy leg. Continue reading “Don Timoteo Answers Your Magic Questions”