The overpaid  Inside Magic editors and unpaid interns peruse all media constantly for interesting leads.  We wish we could say that was how we stumbled upon the Samantha Padilla  interview from the July, 2011 edition of Low Rider Magazine.

Actually, we read Low Rider to get the latest news on the pneumatic lift technology used in the creation of God’s gift to body shop artisans, Hoppers.

The big Phoenix Hopper Contest sponsored by Low Rider magazine just left us lusting for more of the great PSSSWhtchhsss Clunk sounding goodness that is a high-quality lowrider hopper.  We did not enter this year because the elders in our familial unit loathe a good hoppin’ ride.

But the magic aspect to this story comes from the insightful interview of the young and physically attractive, Samantha Padilla.

(We would say she is attractive but we haven’t seen her inside.  Outer beauty if fleeting and subjective. We’re big on the inner beauty.  We’re not shallow like those who put a premium on how someone looks on the outside.  In fact, we seek women with large mouths and few teeth so we can get an unobstructed look down their esophagus whilst we pretend to be fixing a light or painting the ceiling — we need to explain why we’re on a ladder and need them to stand just under our perch).

Ms. Padilla calls herself a “Self-Made Hundredaire” and describes her profession as “Go-Go Dancer.”  We haven’t heard the expression “Go-Go Dancer” in years.  She is clearly an old soul or renaissance woman interested in the rich history of dancing for drunk guys.  (See, Introductory chapter of our best seller The History of 3D: Dancing for Drunks in Dives, New York: Simon & Schuster, 2010).

The interviewer asks how he could interest the Low Rider beauty:

LRG: How does he keep your attention?
Samantha: If I knew there would probably be a guy out there that would still be holding my attention.

LRG: So you have a hard time finding a guy to hold your attention?
Samantha: Ummm. Nam. Nam. Nam. I don’t know. I don’t know the correct answer to that one. Maybe B? What’s the question?

We thought the Hundredaire comment was classic but this passage convinced us Ms. Padilla has an Inside Magic kind of humor.

So, where would one take Ms. Padilla if one wanted to have a successful first date?

LRG: Where should he take you?
Samantha: I got asked out yesterday and he took me to the Magic Castle. That was fun. If a guy can’t make me laugh we have a problem.

We knew there had to be someone out there who would understand.  She’s just 40 years too late.

How to not impress the young hopping car enthusiast?

LRG: What’s the best way for a guy to get your number?
Samantha: Show genuine interest in me and don’t holler at me like a dog.

That could explain our dating years / involuntary celibacy era.

The final quote that closed the deal:

LRG: How are you going to treat your boyfriend in bed?
Samantha: I’m going to make his wildest fantasies come true. That means I’m a giving person. I like to make my man happy. If I’m not doing something that’s pleasing to him, I would like him to voice what he would like. I will also get adventurous with him. I like to please and be pleased.

So, she is saying that someone that beautiful and funny would be willing to fulfill our fantasies without begging or feeling guilty for even suggesting she take a card so that we could practice our Classic Force.

And we can go all night so she would have to have endurance.  Given the right partner, we can do a 27 phase Ambitious Card routine that would knock the high heels off any hopper honey.

Read the full interview at Low Rider here.

You can connect with this quick-witted magic-loving dream girl in a few different ways:

Model Mayhem: modelmayhem.com/samanthapadilla
Facebook: facebook.com/samanthapadillafanpage
Twitter: twitter.com/samanthapadilla
E-Mail: eyecandi310@aol.com

Warning, depending on where you work, these links may not be fit for consumption while at your assigned work station.  Inside Magic reminds you to practice safe web surfing when working for the Man.  Wait until lunch and visit the sites from the big boss’ computer.