Guest Essay, Magic News

Wolf’s Magic Releases Chompers!

Inside Magic Image of Wolf's Magic's New Effect Chompers!Editor’s Note: Mark Panner is a young magician known to long-time readers of Inside Magic for his rather unvarnished take on our art.

He begged to include an article in today’s edition and because we need to attend a probation hearing (not our own), we agreed.

Although the following sounds like an advertisement for Wolf’s Magic, we can assure you Inside Magic has not received any promotional consideration or money for the following embarrassing paeon to Wolf’s Magic.

By the way, we agree with his high estimation of Wolf’s Magic.  They do make wonderful equipment.  This review, however, may be over the top in the same way The Titanic may have had a short delay in the mid-Atlantic.

Mr. Panner can be reached by email: mark@insidemagic.com.

I own many of the items developed and built with loving care by Chance and Shelly Wolf of Wolf Magic.

Because I am incredibly wealthy, I could buy virtually any magical effect from anyone at anytime but I choose to purchase from Wolf Magic because it makes me unique — in a good sense.

There are about five magicians per household in the greater Mystic Hollow, Michigan area.  That’s great for magic club meetings or for sessioning, but lousy for booking shows.

Fortunately, as I mentioned earlier, I am so wealthy that I hardly depend on the income I get from performing for birthday parties, school assemblies, or even public libraries during the summer months.  In fact, the money made from Three-Card Monte runs at the local elementary school is literally just pennies (sometimes dimes but mostly pennies) compared to my personal wealth.

But, assume for a second that I wasn’t filthy rich or both.  Assume, just for fun, that my ability to eat and to cover the rent on this double-wide as well as the monthly utility bills here at the practically gated mobile home community of Mystic Hollow Acres / Yogi Bear Campgrounds depended on finding shows to perform.

Well, my third set of foster parents didn’t raise no dummy.

I know for sure that to get the shows in a competitive market, you need to be different.  And I am nothing if not different. In fact, my old girlfriend (she is in her late 60’s) used to have a tattoo that said “SOMETHING” and I had one that said “DIFFERENT.”  So when you put us together (in the warmer months) you could see our tattoos together said “DIFFERENT SOMETHING” or “SOMETHING DIFFERENT” or if we hugged when you looked, “DIFFTHING” or “SOME RENT.”  If we were really frisky it might say, “DING.”  Cool, eh?  We both started sagging as old age got a hold of her and then me.  Now if we were to hug — and we don’t even talk to each other any more because of the lies the Social Worker told her about how my real parents vanished — it would say, “DT.”

It used to be enough that I had no visible facial scars and no outstanding felony warrants.  Now, the competition is tougher.  The fancy pants magicians (by fancy, I mean “dry-clean only” kind of pants) who used to hob and knob in the big circles have been forced to feed here on the lower tiers of the social / magic ladder.

Suddenly all of the magicians at my level can speak English, have seen a dentist in the last six years, and have exactly ten digits (no more or less) distributed evenly between their two hands.  Some are even disease free.

These big boys and girls hope to come into the sandbox to steal our toys and kick sand in my old lady’s Depends.  They advertise for shows with some of the new technology like “business cards” or “yellow pages advertisements” or “word-of-mouth.”  They flaunt their talent and ability in flyers with phrases like:

“Fun!”

“Interesting!”

“New!”

“Hypo-Allergenic!”

But you could ask me if I gave a flip and I would tell you that I don’t.  It doesn’t bother me even a little bit.

I am not bothered for two reasons: first, I hit my skull / head very hard when I was practically eleven and it robbed me of the ability to be concerned (or focused) on anything unless it has the color red or a texture like pudding; and, second, I am a customer of Wolf’s Magic.

Chance and Shelley Wolf make props that appear to be custom designed for our show.   Chance is the boy and Shelley is the girl.  I say that because I did not know what kind of name “Chance” was and so I was worried (but not overly so because of my cranium thing) that I would say the wrong thing and insult them both or one of them by saying “Thanks, Man!” to the girl or “Gracias, Babe,” to the boy.

They are durable and colorful (lot’s of red paint).  I am talking about the props; not Chance and Shelley.  They make equipment that is professional, and entertaining.  In fact, I have been asked back — it could and did happen – once — to perform just because of Wolf’s Magic’s Run Wolf Run.

The effect has withstood the test of time, poor roads, and lousy shocks over the last nearly ten years.  It still works as well as when I made the last lay-away payment.  (I don’t think they take lay-away anymore.  I kind of ruined it for everyone, sorry!) The inner workings are tough and quiet.  They used high-tech parts to make the movement smooth and sure.

My significant other said “as long as you have your health, you will have a lot.”  She’s right. She lived through the Depression and had to trade-in Jeep tires just to buy a handkerchief to tie on her Hobo Stick.

I may not look like a million dollars but thanks to Chance and Shelley Wolf, I have props that do.  Some of the more famous magicians will tell you that it is important to practice and have showmanship.  Probably.  But if you can’t have that, why not get good looking props that will work under any conditions and do not need repair or replacement ever.

Wolf’s Magic provides just the type of props I need to balance out any alleged short-comings in the way of “personality,” “showmanship,” “skill” or “hygiene.”

Speaking of hygiene, check out their newest effect, Chompers.  It is all about oral hygiene and will fit perfectly in our summer school act.  The best part, most of the effects are produced in very limited runs and so not every magician in the market will have it.  We stand out from the crowd.

A word to the wise and to you, be sure to order as soon as you know you want a trick.  Because of the limited runs, they sell out almost immediately.  That’s good and bad.  Good because you get a unique trick that looks custom made.  Bad, because if you don’t get it before it sells out, you have to compete against someone who has a unique trick that looks custom made.

Here’s a preview of the brand new Chompers effect from Chance Wolf.

Hello Folks!

We hope you all had a wonderful FOURTH of JULY weekend!

We are extremely excited to announce the release of a new Wacky Wolf Effect!

It is an Educational Magic effect just in time for the upcoming School Show Theme of Personal Hygiene!

A great new Original Children’s effect by Chance Wolf with the help of Beverly Atsma.

She Co-Created and Hand Sewed the “PILLOW CHANGE BAG” which is included in the new CHOMPERS effect!

This new effect will teach kids the importance of taking care of their own teeth while having plenty of fun and magic at the same time!

Please visit our website, www.wolfsmagic.com for more information.

You’ll be pulling out your OWN teeth if you miss this one!!

Thanks so much for your support!!

Chance & Shelley Wolf

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