David Blaine Gets Cold Shoulder from Carmen ElectraInside MagicMagic News Updated Daily for the Professional Magician

Mark Panner's sister,
Lucy, submitted the following for publication here.

So there's this party at Star Room in East
Hampton and stuff.

And Carmen Electra is like all whatever and stuff.

And so she was married to this other guy named Dave Navarro –
but she used to be married to Dennis Rodman the football or cricket player,
someone famous in sports.

Anyway, so
she's like married to this guy and he's like "oh, I love you so much I'm
going to get a tattoo that says CE on my chest.

Because CE stands for Carmen Electra, and that's her name, so it's just
the first letter from her first name and her other name. But it didn't say "CE means Carmen
Electra" or anything.

You had to
know that his wife's name had the same first letters as his tattoo but probably
because most people know he is married to Carmen Electra, they would figure
that out and stuff.

But like even if
they only knew his wife's first name,
they could think the C was for her.

They
might be trying to figure out what the E was for because they would think she
would have the same name as he did but because their real rich and she was on
Baywatch, she didn't change her name so her last name stayed Electra.

Otherwise it would be a N.

Okay, so. David Blaine and this Dave Navarro man have a
party at this place called the Star Room in the Hamptons.

And, so it turns out that this girl named Jenae Altschwager is
invited or crashes it or something and she's like sooo hot and an actress and
stuff.

But the Dave Navarro – not the David Blaine – guy sort of
knew the Jenae Altschwager girl already because they met on MySpace.Com and he
sent videos and pictures of himself to her from his bathroom and stuff. Ewwwww!

So then she shows up at the party and Carmen Electra sees
her come in and she's all like "No you didn't!" She get's all like "I know you didn't just
walk into my space you web witch with a capital B!"

So David Navarro guy is like totally busted but he's like
"no we are just friends and stuff and she wanted to see a really
grainy cell-phone camera video of our
bathroom cuz she's re-doing hers and she needed ideas."

And Carmen Electra is like all "whatever."

And they are either already divorced or something because he
said he was dating someone else but that's okay because she's an
"adult" film star and she's still married and stuff.

So Carmen Electra is like, "I'm going to ……" and
she gets all angry even though it sounds like her marriage is already over and
the cell-phone video thing was like so early 2006 – like ancient history, like
when Lance Armstrong's dad landed on the Moon or Mars back in the 60's.

So David Blaine is like, "Hey, Carmen, c'mon over here
because I'm paying for all this party and I want to get a picture with
you."

And Carmen is like, "Right!" "Talk to the rear, Wrinkled Raisin Boy!"

And she storms out and David Blaine didn't get a photo with
Carmen Electra or nothing.

Okay that's the whole story.
Bye.

If you don't believe me, you can read it in the New York
Times or Daily News or whatever
it's called here.

I added some of
the dialogue and plot though.