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Your Hired! British “The Apprentice” Hires Noel Qualter

 

Noel Qualter – Magic Stud

Magician Noel Qualter was the first person that finalists from the hit UK show The Apprentice turned to provide entertainment as part of their final task. The UK version of The Apprentice is based on the successful US series by the same name, The Apprentice.  We guess that goes without saying.  Of course it has the same name if it is named after the US version. 

Sir Alan Sugar is the Donald Trump of the British version of the show but unlike the name of the show, he has a different name than Donald Trump.  Again, we demonstrate our ability to firmly grasp the obvious.

Sir Sugar is number 25 on the richest people in the UK. He also possesses the gruff kind of demeanor to make the show a number one hit in the UK.  Finally, he is the only television star named after 1978 Funk Star, Sir Sugar Pops and the Cracker Jackers.  (For trivia lovers, remember their only number one hit from June of 1978? The answer is at the end of this article.)

During the preceding 12 weeks candidates for the ?100,000 a year job have been eliminated with Sir Alan Sugar’s stinging words “You?re fired!” This week the final 2 have to organize a corporate event aboard a replica Mississippi paddle steamer.

The brown-nosing suck-ups knew how to keep their chances at keeping a job.  They hired London magician Noel Qualter.  The press describes him as a specialist in “close-up magic at high society banquets, corporate events and weddings.”  He describes his approach as “cool magic just inches from your face.  Kind of a cross between lap dancing and Paul Daniels — although best not to visualize that.” 

It should be noted, by coincidence, the U.S. Senate has passed a bill making it illegal for any type of lap dancing involving people with the last name Daniels.  This would thankfully include both Paul Daniels and Jeff Daniels.  Some courts have already interpreted this to apply to sound alike names including Cute Weasels, Computer Manuals, and Springer Spaniels.  A spokesperson the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (“PETA”) praised the Senate for “finally realizing weasels, whether cute or not, do not belong on laps for any reason.”   

Mr. Qualter is a mere 28 but has already gained the praise of his peers (he is a member of The Magic Circle) and party planners. He has been whisked to parties in New York, Monaco, Paris and Dubai.  Basically, he’s a stud.  His web page is one of the most efficient and effective sites we’ve seen for a working magician. It is also the first website we’ve seen credit a professional Search Engine Optimizer for assistance in design.

The answer to the trivia question: Penicillin (“I Just Wanna Be Your  . . .”)

 

 

Noel Qualter – Magic Stud

Magician Noel Qualter was the first person that finalists from the hit UK show The Apprentice turned to provide entertainment as part of their final task. The UK version of The Apprentice is based on the successful US series by the same name, The Apprentice.  We guess that goes without saying.  Of course it has the same name if it is named after the US version. 

Sir Alan Sugar is the Donald Trump of the British version of the show but unlike the name of the show, he has a different name than Donald Trump.  Again, we demonstrate our ability to firmly grasp the obvious.

Sir Sugar is number 25 on the richest people in the UK. He also possesses the gruff kind of demeanor to make the show a number one hit in the UK.  Finally, he is the only television star named after 1978 Funk Star, Sir Sugar Pops and the Cracker Jackers.  (For trivia lovers, remember their only number one hit from June of 1978? The answer is at the end of this article.)

During the preceding 12 weeks candidates for the ?100,000 a year job have been eliminated with Sir Alan Sugar’s stinging words “You?re fired!” This week the final 2 have to organize a corporate event aboard a replica Mississippi paddle steamer.

The brown-nosing suck-ups knew how to keep their chances at keeping a job.  They hired London magician Noel Qualter.  The press describes him as a specialist in “close-up magic at high society banquets, corporate events and weddings.”  He describes his approach as “cool magic just inches from your face.  Kind of a cross between lap dancing and Paul Daniels — although best not to visualize that.” 

It should be noted, by coincidence, the U.S. Senate has passed a bill making it illegal for any type of lap dancing involving people with the last name Daniels.  This would thankfully include both Paul Daniels and Jeff Daniels.  Some courts have already interpreted this to apply to sound alike names including Cute Weasels, Computer Manuals, and Springer Spaniels.  A spokesperson the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (“PETA”) praised the Senate for “finally realizing weasels, whether cute or not, do not belong on laps for any reason.”   

Mr. Qualter is a mere 28 but has already gained the praise of his peers (he is a member of The Magic Circle) and party planners. He has been whisked to parties in New York, Monaco, Paris and Dubai.  Basically, he’s a stud.  His web page is one of the most efficient and effective sites we’ve seen for a working magician. It is also the first website we’ve seen credit a professional Search Engine Optimizer for assistance in design.

The answer to the trivia question: Penicillin (“I Just Wanna Be Your  . . .”)

 

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