Recovery From The Blackout – One Magician’s StoryInside MagicMagic News Updated Daily for the Professional Magician

As some of you may be aware, Mystic Hollow, Michigan is right smack dab in the middle of the blackout zone that circled Lake Erie, stretched across the Southern Canadian border and into New York. Even though most of the news stories were about how people in New York survived without power, there was virtually no coverage of Mystic Hollow or any of the Michigan/Ohio areas.

For instance, there was not one single word written about how the Amish communities just south of where I am writing this tome dealt with the problem of no electrical power. Perhaps because there was nothing to say and more than likely because the Amish are too principled to say, ?Told You So!?

But I wanted to tell you a little bit about how magicians, using their intuition and guile were able to save many from a darkened tower in downtown Shipshewana.

We were there for the fifteenth annual Magicians Meet Amish People fest. It was much like the Abbott?s Get-Together or the IBM Convention but there weren?t any big names and our audience actually seemed bothered that we were taking time out of their day to perform our effects.

I was there with Tonya…

But I wanted to tell you a little bit about how magicians, using their intuition and guile were able to save many from a darkened tower in downtown Shipshewana.

I was there with Tonya Harding ? former figure-skating star, Danny Spain ? you know who he is and how I feel about him, Dilantin ? the pharmaceutical trade show magician so dedicated to his art that he changes his name to match his current client, and Ruby Pastiche ? the French Female Magician. We had just finished our first show at the wonderful Yoder Theater which is a top the 70 story Amish Building of Commerce and Trade in downtown Shipshewana.

Tonya did a neat chapeau routine with a ring of felt. There weren?t any original moves but because you rarely see the chapeau routine done any more, it was a treat for the five or six Amish and Mennonite families that made up our audience.

Danny Spain went on next and did a wonderful m?lange of magic ? if by ?wonderful,? you mean, ?terrible.? His m?lange was nothing more that the stealing of other magicians? work, done poorly and with the smarmy smile that has made Danny the cheese-eating Scotch-Tape-licking, runny-nose wearing, store-bought magic doing, assistant-harassing, no shower-taking-cuz-he-wears-cologne-instead star we all know him as.

I had not seen Dilantin as ?Dilantin? before. When we first met, he was ?Zip-Lock.? He was performing for Glad Bags in different home shows across the country. He did a heck of an escape from a Zip-Locked Bag that was just his size. He would have the committee inspect the bag, he?d step in, and then ensure that when the top was sealed, the bag was ?burped,? leaving no air at all.

Incredible stuff, really.

I saw him when he was working with Colgate-Palmolive and was known as ?Crest.? He was something else. They were rolling out the new ?Whitening/Fluoride Formula? and he did a color changing rope where the brown (?tartar-stained?) big floss was passed through his hand filled with the magical, whitening stuff and went from gross to great.

He entered into the pharmaceuticals after Crest. He was Diflucan ? the Pfizer wonder drug for yeast infections and infections in those who have low immunities. It?s tough to think of good tricks that fit this type of product but by golly, he did it. He did a multim-in-parvo with the yeast infection being represented by milk being eradicated by the magic Diflucan from the very smallest glass. Very cool. He also did a rice bowls with the doubling of the rice at the end and blue water pouring from the bowls.

Anyway, I got carried away. Ruby was the last performer ? other than me ? and she did a wonderful bird act. She did it all to music and when the birds would appear she?d do a ballet move and the birds would change color. Very cool. I think she was from France not only because she said she was, but because she talked funny. She?d say things like, ?Hola, Senior. How do you like my Zapatos?? The funny thing is that Tonya, who is part French Canadian said it didn?t sound like French to her. She also thought that Ruby was a man so go figure.

Anyway, like I was saying, the show was over and we were greeting our audience. They seemed genuinely impressed by the magic they had seen. Then suddenly the lights went out. I grabbed the microphone to tell everyone to remain calm. But wouldn?t you know it, the mic was out. It seemed to me that it was a power outage. Call me a genius but I put together the lack of lights and the no microphone to mean there was no power.

I started to panic. Diflucan handed me some valium he had as give aways back when he was doing his other pharmaceutical trade show. I popped them but didn?t have anything to drink them down so I panicked even more. I felt around the darkened room and found a glass of liquid that I could guzzle. Unfortunately, it was the last glass in the Multim-in-parvo and filled with enough Diflucan to kill all the yeast known to man.

So I was yeastless and drowsy but without fear. I sneezed, wheezed and grabbed into my pockets. I could feel the fear growing in my compadres (Ruby said this was French for ?fellows?). I new I had to do something.

I pulled my hand from my pocket and like a guide in a dark place, like a cave, or a dark theater, a D?lite. The red glow from my thumb didn?t cast much light but it did give us hope. Tonya was impressed and pulled out her Kapps Fire Wallet to also light the way. Diflucan had three Fantasio Color Changing Candles and a Torch to Cane. Between us all, we were able to find the doorway and begin our move downward to safety.

When we finally reached freedom at the base of the tower, we counted heads and noted that all of the audience made it out alive and were safe. All magicians were accounted for but one: Ruby was not among us.

Oh my, I thought, we need to go back up and get Ruby. I even said it. ?Oh my, we need to go back up and get Ruby!? I said.

Danny Spain, the wuss that he is, said we should let him rot in the dark. Tonya and Diflucan were willing to go back up. Tonya splashed some of Danny?s ever-present Old Spice Cologne in her Kapps Wallet, I recharged my D?lite and Diflucan reassembled his candles and torch.

?You?re not going to help?? Diflucan asked Danny.

?What did she ever do for me?? Danny offered back.

?He saved your butt in Tijuana,? a man who looked very much like the brother of Ruby said.

Danny wheeled around and stared at the man intensely. ?How long have you been here?? he asked.

?I?ve been on your trail since you skipped off on your bail in National City.?

It was all coming together for me now. Ruby was a man and perhaps he wasn?t from France. Maybe that?s why his French sounded Spanish.

Danny threw down a blown-egg filled with fanning powder and began to run. Within three strides, he was able to commandeer an Amish carriage. Ruby (he later told us his real name was ?Rudy?) began the chase but slipped on the powder and landed flat on his backside. The Amish laughed but Rudy did not seem deterred. He jumped into a buggy and began his chase in earnest.

The two riders made it about one block before a fourteen year old girl shouted something in Old Dutch. The horses stopped immediately and Danny was thrown from the carriage and quickly apprehended by the Bounty Hunter/Female Magician Impersonator Rudy/Ruby.

I woke up with my face covered by something hard and sticky. There were at least twenty cards stuck to my face, forehead and throat. I ripped them from my flesh and the pain allowed me to awaken slightly more. I looked around and saw that I was still in my den, the table was still covered with newspaper and the three decks of cards I was roughing with real roughing fluid. Cotton balls were stuck to my fingers where in my inhalant-induced daydream there had been the saving glow of D?lites.

It was strange. Maybe funny but mostly strange.

I will be offering my special Rough and Rough cards on eBay soon. The beauty of Rough and Rough is that you can the entire deck as one card ? it has some angle problems but with some practice, it does look like one card.