Cool Waters Run Deep

People flock to Bath not only for the ancient Roman ruins but, perhaps more significantly, the fantastic, weird story of Albert Macdonald and his little guinea pig.

Please do not be horrified by the following. It is, by all accounts, an accurate recitation of the facts that have haunted this ancient and mystical town. Turn on all lights in your house as you read this.

If you are reading this story on a PDA in the dark while you drive some lonely road through the night to another show or back from a show or looking over the shoulder of someone else reading this on a PDA, stop. Read no further. Simply re-telling this tale has caused grown men and women to faint. (Could be my breath).

Albert Macdonald was one of Bath’s resident magicians and known for his production of animals at unusual times. “How could he do it?” stunned on-lookers would shout in between gasps. Sometimes they would hyperventilate and grasp their chest as the guinea pig would appear from no where.

The towns folk thought Albert was a scandal. How could he produce a live guinea pig from beneath a cloth, from a hat or from a small bag of donuts? Perhaps he was the devil or even worse, a friend of the yet to be born Masked Magician. (Who made his television appearance on Britain’s ITV last week — a sign of the apocalypse if there ever was one).

One night Albert and his guinea pig were walking along the River Avon (named after the door-to-door beauty sales company to be founded exactly 49 years after his death) and Albert slipped, fell or was pushed into the mighty river. He sunk like a stone (approximately 14 lbs.)

But, and this is where it gets scary, somehow the guinea pig escape from the cold spring waters of the River Avon. But the little furry rodent also escaped from the sewed lining of the drowning magician’s coat. He struggled, like a miniature furry Houdini.

He freed first his tiny but nimble front paws and then loosened the threads that had entangled his legs and finally his tail.

He pushed his body to the surface and was rescued by on-lookers. His former owner perished but the unnamed guinea pig survived. He had a short career on the lecture circuit but that was cut short when it was discovered Mr. Macdonald was not only the star of the show — he did most of the magic — but he was also the only one that could speak.

Today, 100 years after the tragic end of a local favorite and the start of a fizzled career of a prop/production item, Albert Macdonald is remembered with a celebration of the event that changed forever the town of Bath.

Celebration of Death and Escape in Bath

Ironically, the tragic end of one career and the struggling birth of a second, is celebrated by the tossing of a fake rabbit into the waters of the River Avon.

You can read the whole story in the Bath Chronicle. I’m not making it up — except most of the stuff about the rodent being on the lecture tour for just a short time; he was actually able to transition to silent movies and appeared in several shorts with Tabby Fee and, later, Charlie Chaplin.