From time to time, InsideMagic.com takes questions from real and made-up readers. As our readership dips, there are more of the latter than the former. However, the following are real questions either made-up or stolen from other sites but answered here.
Q: What is the best card force?
A: There are several card forces we previously used but after attending a seminar on a beach in the Los Angeles area, we abandoned the whole concept of forcing someone to do anything against their will. As the seminar leader, GJERi (pronounced “Gej Erry”) said over our single meal for the full four-day session, “we, us, should respect the force in all of us, always.” He didn’t say that applied to forcing a card on a volunteer from an audience, but we weren’t sure exactly because the one meal we got was made up of naturally sourced Oreo cookies and sea water.
Consequently, we do not use forces in our card magic now. We use an equivoque, “Do you want to see a card trick or a non-card trick?” If they say a card trick, we say, “oh, do you want to see a card trick where magic seems to happen or where you just take a card and we all see the card and make comments about your free choice?” If they insist on a magic card trick, we continue the equivoque and say, “Hey, how about a card trick that doesn’t use cards?” Eventually, by our use of the equivoque, we can convince them to see a rope trick like The Professor’s Nightmare.
We asked GJERi about the use of equivoque since that seems to be forcing in some manner but he didn’t answer our email. We were going to send him another email but realized that would be trying to force him to do something – like not ghosting us even though we spent $1,125 dollars to sit on a beach, get sunburned and experience an incredibly dangerous sugar high by binging on Oreo cookies and drinking saltwater for our only meal.
When or if he replies, we will update our answer.
Q: Why did InsideMagic.Com stop selling Sea Monkeys?
A: You likely were reading some of our really old versions of InsideMagic. As loyal readers know, Inside Magic began long-ago, before the internet but after the commercial moveable type printing machine. The older, printed versions of this essential magic news source had advertisements on the back two pages and a full back cover with ads.
We offered:
- X-Ray Glasses
- Whoopie Cushions (four sizes)
- Squirting Flowers
- Ant Farms, Ant Industrial Buildings, and Ant Unemployment Offices
- Submarines powered by baking soda and vinegar
- Glass balls to put in your nostril and appear to have a snot bubble
- Defanged Rattlesnakes
- Fanged Rattlesnakes (appropriately marked with warnings because of the lawsuit)
- Questionable Jello Molds
And, of course, Sea Monkeys.
In 1978 there was a worldwide shortage of Sea Monkeys due to the illegal collusion of Sea Monkey producers keeping the monkeys off the market for higher prices.
The only Sea Monkeys you could source were either pieces of carrot shaped like a Sea Monkey or dead Sea Monkeys. Neither were selling even with our sales pitch that “You could eat both in tough times.”
In 1982, the Global Sea Monkey Monopoly was broken up by the United Nations and a strong decision from the world court at the Hague. Unfortunately, the ruling meant that the market was now flooded with Sea Monkeys. Some were aged and infirm. These GrandPa Sea Monkeys wouldn’t move quickly in buyers’ aquariums but would just sit on rocks and watch the fish. Worse than the GrandPa Sea Monkeys were the unruly Teen Sea Monkeys who played pranks on the GrandPa Sea Monkeys – some went so far as to use our smallest sized Whoopie Cushion. The Whoopie Cushion startled the oldsters something terrible.
Then came the internet and we decided to move away from selling Sea Monkeys into investing in a Sea Monkey Dating App – Monkey Sea / Monkey Do. This was popular for a year or two until most of the users turned out to be GrandPa Sea Monkeys looking for Teen Sea Monkeys and it was shut down by several governmental agencies.
Q: Can magicians really read mimes?
A: Yes, magicians have developed skills in observation and reading of body language. No mime stands a chance with a good magician. Whether they are miming being trapped in a glass booth or walking against the wind, a magician can tell exactly what they are trying to convey. We assume that is the question you were asking unless “mimes” was a typo.
Paw Lawton has been associated with Inside Magic since we started. A former assistant to our father and advance man for circuses, carnivals and a few magic shows, he knows his stuff. His take on the stuff he knows is often jaundiced and embittered by years of seeing the shady side of our magical arts. Ironically (or fittingly) he actually recorded the song “Shady Side of Our Magical Arts” and was involved in lengthy litigation with the songwriter of “Sunny Side of the Street.” He ultimately lost but as he noted, “you can’t win if you don’t play.” Such is the philosophy of Paw. We asked him to pen a short essay on the current state of our art. That essay, edited to remove libelous and offensive sections, follows.
