From time to time, InsideMagic.com takes questions from real and made-up readers. As our readership dips, there are more of the latter than the former. However, the following are real questions either made-up or stolen from other sites but answered here.
Q: What is the best card force?
A: There are several card forces we previously used but after attending a seminar on a beach in the Los Angeles area, we abandoned the whole concept of forcing someone to do anything against their will. As the seminar leader, GJERi (pronounced “Gej Erry”) said over our single meal for the full four-day session, “we, us, should respect the force in all of us, always.” He didn’t say that applied to forcing a card on a volunteer from an audience, but we weren’t sure exactly because the one meal we got was made up of naturally sourced Oreo cookies and sea water.
Consequently, we do not use forces in our card magic now. We use an equivoque, “Do you want to see a card trick or a non-card trick?” If they say a card trick, we say, “oh, do you want to see a card trick where magic seems to happen or where you just take a card and we all see the card and make comments about your free choice?” If they insist on a magic card trick, we continue the equivoque and say, “Hey, how about a card trick that doesn’t use cards?” Eventually, by our use of the equivoque, we can convince them to see a rope trick like The Professor’s Nightmare.
We asked GJERi about the use of equivoque since that seems to be forcing in some manner but he didn’t answer our email. We were going to send him another email but realized that would be trying to force him to do something – like not ghosting us even though we spent $1,125 dollars to sit on a beach, get sunburned and experience an incredibly dangerous sugar high by binging on Oreo cookies and drinking saltwater for our only meal.
When or if he replies, we will update our answer.
Q: Why did InsideMagic.Com stop selling Sea Monkeys?
A: You likely were reading some of our really old versions of InsideMagic. As loyal readers know, Inside Magic began long-ago, before the internet but after the commercial moveable type printing machine. The older, printed versions of this essential magic news source had advertisements on the back two pages and a full back cover with ads.
We offered:
- X-Ray Glasses
- Whoopie Cushions (four sizes)
- Squirting Flowers
- Ant Farms, Ant Industrial Buildings, and Ant Unemployment Offices
- Submarines powered by baking soda and vinegar
- Glass balls to put in your nostril and appear to have a snot bubble
- Defanged Rattlesnakes
- Fanged Rattlesnakes (appropriately marked with warnings because of the lawsuit)
- Questionable Jello Molds
And, of course, Sea Monkeys.
In 1978 there was a worldwide shortage of Sea Monkeys due to the illegal collusion of Sea Monkey producers keeping the monkeys off the market for higher prices.
The only Sea Monkeys you could source were either pieces of carrot shaped like a Sea Monkey or dead Sea Monkeys. Neither were selling even with our sales pitch that “You could eat both in tough times.”
In 1982, the Global Sea Monkey Monopoly was broken up by the United Nations and a strong decision from the world court at the Hague. Unfortunately, the ruling meant that the market was now flooded with Sea Monkeys. Some were aged and infirm. These GrandPa Sea Monkeys wouldn’t move quickly in buyers’ aquariums but would just sit on rocks and watch the fish. Worse than the GrandPa Sea Monkeys were the unruly Teen Sea Monkeys who played pranks on the GrandPa Sea Monkeys – some went so far as to use our smallest sized Whoopie Cushion. The Whoopie Cushion startled the oldsters something terrible.
Then came the internet and we decided to move away from selling Sea Monkeys into investing in a Sea Monkey Dating App – Monkey Sea / Monkey Do. This was popular for a year or two until most of the users turned out to be GrandPa Sea Monkeys looking for Teen Sea Monkeys and it was shut down by several governmental agencies.
Q: Can magicians really read mimes?
A: Yes, magicians have developed skills in observation and reading of body language. No mime stands a chance with a good magician. Whether they are miming being trapped in a glass booth or walking against the wind, a magician can tell exactly what they are trying to convey. We assume that is the question you were asking unless “mimes” was a typo.
Q: How does that guy do that thing with the card being stuck on a possum’s head while blindfolded?
A: There are two tricks here and you may have confused them.
The Card on Possum is a commercial trick and we cannot reveal the secret. Obviously, though, the possum is in on the secret and usually needs to have rehearsal after rehearsal. Possums do not like to have anything stuck to their little nuggets. This was a big trick on the Ed Sullivan Show back in the 1960s but we haven’t seen it performed live.
The other trick is the Blindfolded Possum Psychic. This is not a trick per se. Most possum and related animals have a natural sense of direction based on the earth’s magnetic poles. You have probably seen proof of this when you try to put a refrigerator magnet on a possum and need to flip the magnet so it won’t oppose the possum’s own magnetic field.
Once blindfolded (and it is a real blindfold – no fakery), any mature possum will be able to pantomime an event likely to occur to his customer.
He may raise his little paws to simulate putting a worm on a hook and make a fishing motion to suggest a future vacation. He could put a paw in each ear to indicate impending deafness; or lay down and hold a flower predicting imminent death of a person.
In fact, these skills have led to Las Vegas and many Native American casinos prohibiting possums. The casino bosses are wise to their skills after being fleeced by packs of possum over the years. Plus, possums do not lose their abilities even if they are drunk. So, even when casinos gave booze for free to interrupt their gambling, it was ineffective. They could win at craps and roulette but they were mean drunks. They would sass workers and cause customers to trip, leading to slip and fall lawsuits.
Q: Can you make good money being a psychic?
A: More than you might imagine. If you send us $100 we’ll tell you how.
Q: Should I carbo-load before a big show?
A: This has been a raging debate since Houdini. The great escape artist was not only skilled in all forms of our art, but he also had the physique of a Greek God. Houdini had a very strict diet and a daily grueling physical exercise routine. He believed you should eat only broth before a show. He wanted to remain trim for those effects where he needed to remove his shirt or get immersed in water.
On the opposite side of the debate was Benjamin Blowtowski, better known as Benny Blotto, a magician on the Hefty vaudeville circuit. He did about 300 shows per year and swore by a carbohydrate-filled diet. He ate only pasta or bread in the two hours before the show would start. He drank only milkshakes and had a breakfast each day of Sea Monkeys (heavily buttered) and bacon. Magic historians know little about his life because he passed away at the age of 23. His death was not from heart disease but by tripping over a blindfolded possum at the Palace Theatre in New York City. The possum was fine but confused when his blindfold was removed.
Q: Whatever happened to Paw Lawton?
A: Older readers of InsideMagic.com remember Paw. He was the manager of our father’s touring show for more than 20 years. He retired to the Kalamazoo area of Michigan and is still seen at magic get-togethers and on wanted posters. He is still alive and writes us every month or so with no return address. We know his kids are still in the biz but do not know if he is still married to his cousin, Maybell. Maybell, as some readers know, is actually our Godmother.
Q: Can you do the Never-Ending Salt trick with something other than salt?
A: You could. Since we have been on blood-thinners by our mail-order doctor, we currently perform the Never-Ending Body Fluid effect. Not for the squeamish or janitors but it is effective and takes little practice. Once it starts, gravity and the body’s fight for survival kicks in. One magician friend with high blood pressure foregoes his BP meds to do the human fountain – sort of the same effect but in the opposite direction.
Q: If a train going 40 miles per hour leaves New York for Chicago and the same type of train leaves Chicago for New York, where will the meet?
A: You must be confusing InsideMagic.com with InsideMath.com. We don’t know much about math, trains or linear intercepts. We used to perform a trick where we had two ice cream trucks run into each other going full speed and yet the ice cream bars, sandwiches and cones were found undamaged. The drivers were killed though – that could have been because possums don’t know how to drive, can’t reach the brake pedals or were wearing blindfolds.
Q: Who is the best magician working today?
A: This is a difficult question because there are so many great performers and there are more on the way. But if we were forced to give an answer, despite GJERi’s admonition about forcing, we would say Pop Haydn, the award winning mainstay at The Magic Castle.
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