Wrong NeighborhoodInside MagicMagic News Updated Daily for the Professional Magician

Girls Can Be "Guys"

There are some good guys in our business.

I am using "guys" in a generic sense and mean "guys and gals" but it sounds too much like a show tune so I'm just saying "guys."

I
think the number of really good guys really outweigh the few really bad
guys and not just because the really bad guys weigh less.

Basically,
we get into this business because we like it. Some of go pro and try to
make some money doing it but we still pick this business over others to
make money in because we like it.A recent Forbes Magazine poll showed
that not one single brick and mortar or internet magic shop was
included in the top 1,000 businesses.

Not one.

But you know what; there are some folks in our business that act as if this was the place to score some major cash.

You know, make the money, hit it hard, and move on to your next accomplishment. Screw the other guy, take his idea, steal his customer-base, shove your fingers up his nostrils and yank him dizzy.

Why?

I don't know.

I used to think we – magicians – were all alike.

We
liked to be around each other, we appreciated a great trick, we loved
to learn new sleights, we got excited when we heard a magic show was
going to be on TV or in town, and we knew we weren't going to get rich
doing this.

The Internet might have been good for me, though. I
have learned that like any community, we have really good guys and then
a few creeps and a few criminals and a few wackos and a few people we
have to like because they're our neighbors.

I've been reading the
message boards and the list-serves. There are some down-right nasty
people hiding, lurking among the bits and bytes just ready to take a
swipe at a newbie making their first post or an experienced veteran who
has given so much to the Art.

They must live in their
discontented little hovels watching their black and white television
over their TV table with the faux wood contact paper lining as they eat
from the can of cold Chef Boyardee and curse at Pat Sajack for missing
his cue and Vanna for looking "fat."

When they finish with their
warm pudding snack and wipe their grubby hands on their undershirt they
get ready to hit the magic bulletin boards to pounce on those who are
excited about magic and bulletin boards.

A newbie asks if anyone
has a good method for making a handkerchief disappear. The man with the
Chef Boyardee stains types with his grubby fingers that he hasn't heard
of anyone calling them "handkerchiefs since Nani Darnell looked young."

He is oh so clever to have attacked that kid and to insult Nani at the same time.

His friend lives in the next basement apartment.He had an original
thought once but was arrested for it and so he plays it safe.

He
looks through the magic boards, the magic newsletters, the catalogs,
the brochures, the mailings and finds tricks he can make and sell
cheaper than they're being sold by the inventor.

He doesn't sell them to his friends – he has none – and he doesn't sell them at the magic club in town – he never goes.

He sells them to newbies who don't realize that Strat-O-Spheres and Fraidy Cat Rabbit are both someone else's ideas.

He
can make them and sell them so much cheaper because he didn't have to
think them up and he didn't even have to compose the instructions. He
just had his friends make them at $3.50/hr. and he copied the
instructions from the old versions he bought from MAK Magic and Abbotts.

"Screw em," he thinks as he counts his sales – in cash – "you can't patent an idea or a magic trick.

Screw em. They'd do it to me if they could."

Across the street from Fraidy Cat Man and the Chef, lives a couple that haven't missed a convention since . . .

Well, since a long time ago. Even though they haven't missed a convention, they're not missed by anyone.

They
love to tell the assembled how they are better than other couples doing
magic, how they are better individually than other individuals doing
magic, how they could do a Six Card Repeat with only two cards or
Professor's Nightmare with only two ropes.

They are God's gift to Magic but tonight, on the magic boards, they are God's gift to you.

They'll
tell you how they would have done something differently, how they would
be better doing Lance's show than Lance ("Too stiff, too many doves"),
how they could have fought off Montecore the lion that attacked Roy and
how Roy was really inexperienced with such situations or showed his
fear.

They will pronounce as truth that anyone still doing:

1) The Invisible Deck;

2) Fraidy Cat Rabbit;

3) Any Vanishing Dove or Bird Cage;

4) a silent act with music;

4) a silent act without music;

5) comedy;

6) non-comedy; or,

7) escapes;

is:

1) behind the times;

2) droll;

3) stupid;

4) not as smart as they are;

5) ugly;

6) fat;

7) ugly and fat.

They won't be in their little apartment for long, though. There
is another convention coming soon and they have their reservations not
at the hotel hosting the convention but a cheaper one down the street.

Fortunately, they'll be doing lectures on the way down to the convention with the theme "How You Can Be Like Us."

It's True, We Promise

At the end of the road, not living in a house, an apartment or even a box is a troll of a magician.

He lives in a hole and not a nice one at that.

The sun doesn't shine there and that is just fine by him.

He hates the sun and its warmth. He prefers the dank, dark, and cool of his hole where he keeps himself ready.

When someone, perhaps a newbie or you, walks by his hole, he'll pounce.

He won't pounce at you, or in front of you. He'll pounce from behind. You won't see him coming and you probably won't hear him.

You'll
only feel his icy breath as he sticks his non-retracting blade between
your shoulder blades in the form of a snide comment written about you,
or a smearing, hateful statement made about you, your act, your type or
your kind.

He knows better.

He knows who you are from your family name, your hair color, your eye color, your accent or the way you walk.

He can tell – and will tell – from a mile away who you are, what you want and why his audience should stay far from you.

He'll
poison convention organizers against you, he'll stop bookers from
booking you, he'll make the Magic Castle not so "magical," and he'll
work to bias the judges so that they will ignore the beauty and
strength of your contest act.

He has never had a friend but
claims many. He has no solace other than your misery and he doesn't
even know you. He knows that he is not you and that's enough for him as
he slinks back into his little hole.

This is just one street.

It's not all the streets in the neighborhood or even in the whole state or the country.

But when you are walking down this street, you start to think that everyone around you represents all there is.

I had the misfortune of walking this street recently and meeting up with these miscreants.

They're not bad magicians, they're just bad. They're not misunderstood, they're properly understood.

Why would they be like that? Why would they want to hurt others either economically, socially, emotionally?

I don't know.

Chances are you've been down this street.

You have to focus on the goal of getting out of the area.

You need to find that part of the neighborhood where magicians are magicians and friends are friends and magicians are friends.

You're not looking for a false or made-up world.

You're looking for the genuine people in our business – the good people.

But
when you're stuck on that street where the light doesn't shine and the
knives are sharpened and the wit is dull, it is tough to imagine it
could be the unreal part of town.

Magic Opinion Magic News Magic Secrets

Girls Can Be "Guys"

There are some good guys in our business.

I am using "guys" in a generic sense and mean "guys and gals" but it sounds too much like a show tune so I'm just saying "guys."

I think the number of really good guys really outweigh the few really bad guys and not just because the really bad guys weigh less.

Basically, we get into this business because we like it. Some of go pro and try to make some money doing it but we still pick this business over others to make money in because we like it.A recent Forbes Magazine poll showed that not one single brick and mortar or internet magic shop was included in the top 1,000 businesses.

Not one.

But you know what; there are some folks in our business that act as if this was the place to score some major cash.

You know, make the money, hit it hard, and move on to your next accomplishment. Screw the other guy, take his idea, steal his customer-base, shove your fingers up his nostrils and yank him dizzy.

Why?

I don't know.

I used to think we – magicians – were all alike.

We liked to be around each other, we appreciated a great trick, we loved to learn new sleights, we got excited when we heard a magic show was going to be on TV or in town, and we knew we weren't going to get rich doing this.

The Internet might have been good for me, though. I have learned that like any community, we have really good guys and then a few creeps and a few criminals and a few wackos and a few people we have to like because they're our neighbors.

I've been reading the message boards and the list-serves. There are some down-right nasty people hiding, lurking among the bits and bytes just ready to take a swipe at a newbie making their first post or an experienced veteran who has given so much to the Art.

They must live in their discontented little hovels watching their black and white television over their TV table with the faux wood contact paper lining as they eat from the can of cold Chef Boyardee and curse at Pat Sajack for missing his cue and Vanna for looking "fat."

When they finish with their warm pudding snack and wipe their grubby hands on their undershirt they get ready to hit the magic bulletin boards to pounce on those who are excited about magic and bulletin boards.

A newbie asks if anyone has a good method for making a handkerchief disappear. The man with the Chef Boyardee stains types with his grubby fingers that he hasn't heard of anyone calling them "handkerchiefs since Nani Darnell looked young."

He is oh so clever to have attacked that kid and to insult Nani at the same time.

His friend lives in the next basement apartment.He had an original thought once but was arrested for it and so he plays it safe.

He looks through the magic boards, the magic newsletters, the catalogs, the brochures, the mailings and finds tricks he can make and sell cheaper than they're being sold by the inventor.

He doesn't sell them to his friends – he has none – and he doesn't sell them at the magic club in town – he never goes.

He sells them to newbies who don't realize that Strat-O-Spheres and Fraidy Cat Rabbit are both someone else's ideas.

He can make them and sell them so much cheaper because he didn't have to think them up and he didn't even have to compose the instructions. He just had his friends make them at $3.50/hr. and he copied the instructions from the old versions he bought from MAK Magic and Abbotts.

"Screw em," he thinks as he counts his sales – in cash – "you can't patent an idea or a magic trick.

Screw em. They'd do it to me if they could."

Across the street from Fraidy Cat Man and the Chef, lives a couple that haven't missed a convention since . . .

Well, since a long time ago. Even though they haven't missed a convention, they're not missed by anyone.

They love to tell the assembled how they are better than other couples doing magic, how they are better individually than other individuals doing magic, how they could do a Six Card Repeat with only two cards or Professor's Nightmare with only two ropes.

They are God's gift to Magic but tonight, on the magic boards, they are God's gift to you.

They'll tell you how they would have done something differently, how they would be better doing Lance's show than Lance ("Too stiff, too many doves"), how they could have fought off Montecore the lion that attacked Roy and how Roy was really inexperienced with such situations or showed his fear.

They will pronounce as truth that anyone still doing:

1) The Invisible Deck;

2) Fraidy Cat Rabbit;

3) Any Vanishing Dove or Bird Cage;

4) a silent act with music;

4) a silent act without music;

5) comedy;

6) non-comedy; or,

7) escapes;

is:

1) behind the times;

2) droll;

3) stupid;

4) not as smart as they are;

5) ugly;

6) fat;

7) ugly and fat.

They won't be in their little apartment for long, though. There is another convention coming soon and they have their reservations not at the hotel hosting the convention but a cheaper one down the street.

Fortunately, they'll be doing lectures on the way down to the convention with the theme "How You Can Be Like Us."

It's True, We Promise

At the end of the road, not living in a house, an apartment or even a box is a troll of a magician.

He lives in a hole and not a nice one at that.

The sun doesn't shine there and that is just fine by him.

He hates the sun and its warmth. He prefers the dank, dark, and cool of his hole where he keeps himself ready.

When someone, perhaps a newbie or you, walks by his hole, he'll pounce.

He won't pounce at you, or in front of you. He'll pounce from behind. You won't see him coming and you probably won't hear him.

You'll only feel his icy breath as he sticks his non-retracting blade between your shoulder blades in the form of a snide comment written about you, or a smearing, hateful statement made about you, your act, your type or your kind.

He knows better.

He knows who you are from your family name, your hair color, your eye color, your accent or the way you walk.

He can tell – and will tell – from a mile away who you are, what you want and why his audience should stay far from you.

He'll poison convention organizers against you, he'll stop bookers from booking you, he'll make the Magic Castle not so "magical," and he'll work to bias the judges so that they will ignore the beauty and strength of your contest act.

He has never had a friend but claims many. He has no solace other than your misery and he doesn't even know you. He knows that he is not you and that's enough for him as he slinks back into his little hole.

This is just one street.

It's not all the streets in the neighborhood or even in the whole state or the country.

But when you are walking down this street, you start to think that everyone around you represents all there is.

I had the misfortune of walking this street recently and meeting up with these miscreants.

They're not bad magicians, they're just bad. They're not misunderstood, they're properly understood.

Why would they be like that? Why would they want to hurt others either economically, socially, emotionally?

I don't know.

Chances are you've been down this street.

You have to focus on the goal of getting out of the area.

You need to find that part of the neighborhood where magicians are magicians and friends are friends and magicians are friends.

You're not looking for a false or made-up world.

You're looking for the genuine people in our business – the good people.

But when you're stuck on that street where the light doesn't shine and the knives are sharpened and the wit is dull, it is tough to imagine it could be the unreal part of town.