Magic Stories

Blaine’s Out of Box — Who Cares? World Press Reacts to “Trick”

He’s Not the Messiah

Scott Johnson of the Anchorage Daily News is rather kind to the emaciated “Christ-Looking Magician”.

He writes, “Blaine is an elitist magician snob” (Scott Johnson with the Anchorage Daily News) . Mr. Johnson begins his article by apologizing to “all the real magicians out there for concentrating my efforts on David Blaine . . . . I’m sure you’ll at least enjoy the ridicule.”

Mr. Johnson analyzes Blaine’s place in the world of entertainment thusly:

Oh no, what he’s doing isn’t entertainment. Be very clear about that. It’s so much deeper. Just listen to this spiel:

“This has been one of the most inspirational experiences of my life,” Blaine told the crowd that turned out to cheer his last few hours of isolation above London. “I have learned more in that box than I have learned in years. I have learned how strong we are as human beings.”

(Translation to language used on Planet Blaine: “I am so great.”)

He added: “Most importantly, I…

He’s Not the Messiah

Scott Johnson of the Anchorage Daily News is rather kind to the emaciated “Christ-Looking Magician”.

He writes, “Blaine is an elitist magician snob” (Scott Johnson with the Anchorage Daily News) . Mr. Johnson begins his article by apologizing to “all the real magicians out there for concentrating my efforts on David Blaine . . . . I’m sure you’ll at least enjoy the ridicule.”

Mr. Johnson analyzes Blaine’s place in the world of entertainment thusly:

Oh no, what he’s doing isn’t entertainment. Be very clear about that. It’s so much deeper. Just listen to this spiel:

“This has been one of the most inspirational experiences of my life,” Blaine told the crowd that turned out to cheer his last few hours of isolation above London. “I have learned more in that box than I have learned in years. I have learned how strong we are as human beings.”

(Translation to language used on Planet Blaine: “I am so great.”)

He added: “Most importantly, I learnt to appreciate all the simple things in life such as the smile from a stranger, and the sunshine and the sunset.”

(Translation: “I had 44 days to think, and this is the best sappy line I could come up with.”)

Since Blaine says it’s not about entertainment and giving his followers a good show, then his stunts are really all about one thing: David Blaine’s ego.

He was compared to a shaman seeking enlightenment by commentators, sort of. Margaret Cook of The Scottsman, for example:

DAVID Blaine’s potty antics did not interest me much. In my cold-shower way, I thought life has plenty of more rational risk-taking opportunities and arduous endeavours, without manufacturing some such trial so utterly useless except as a publicity stunt. But when he emerged after his 44 days, four stones lighter, pale, enfeebled, confused and looking like a latter-day mystic, it occurred to me how he might be seeking those strange out-of-body experiences known to our ancestors of the shamanic class.

The Jerusalem Post follows up on this theme of Mr. Blaine taking the mantle of the great saints and shamans in Corinna Da Fonseca-Wollheim titled, “Saint Blaine? I Don’t Think So.”

If Blaine’s stunt carried a message, it was “wow.” “The only restrictions on our capacity to astonish ourselves and each other are imposed by our own minds,” he said.

His six-week crash diet was so offensive, not because he made a spectacle out of starvation, turned anorexia into an art form, and suggested that those who die of deprivation are only lacking self-control – although for this alone he deserves to be pelted with eggs for years to come.

What turns the stomach, and drove on the hecklers, was the hypocrisy with which he styles himself a modern-day saint, when even the fake saints of India outdo his feats of endurance every day.

Apparently, Blaine spent much of his time in his cage hatching his next stunt: “the most extreme exercise in isolation and physical deprivation ever attempted.”

Nicholas Lezard of the Guardian compares his ordeal as a single dad (temporarily) with the struggle of David Blaine in his article, “And for My Next Trick” inUK’sThe Guardian

Of course, we were not exactly in the same boat. We were both dangling in mid-air in a Perspex cage in full view of a crowd, but there the similarities ended. Strictly speaking, they didn’t even begin there: my cage was metaphorical, and I could raid the fridge whenever I wanted; but we were both committed to performing extraordinary feats of endurance contrary to nature. He had it easy, though. All he had to do was not die. I, on the other hand, had to look after three children and one adult, besides myself, in a fashion which previous experience suggested would be way beyond me.

In perhaps the most interesting turn of events, the Scottsman is reporting that David Blaine has banished Uri Geller from his bedside in the hospital because he views Geller as “a hanger-on.” You’ll remember that before Mr. Blaine entered the clear box o’ plastic starvation, he considered Geller his closest friend. More on that as it develops.

Fiona McCade of the Scottsman provides the true irony:

We’d have appreciated Paul Daniels, entombed in concrete for, well, as long as you like really, but even that wouldn’t have entranced us. When a magician steadfastly refuses to be magical – and Blaine’s friend Uri Geller, who has made a whole career out of not being magical, insisted Blaine’s ordeal was officially Not Magic – then what’s left? As a stunt, it was crap. As entertainment, it made The Salon look like Kill Bill. So what was it?

She notes, ” What the American Blaine failed to grasp is that the British like their magic to be magical. A white rabbit starving to death in a top hat would have been a better idea, but then the old British love of animals would have kicked in. Much as Blaine’s head would have been if he’d messed with a bunny.”

It is sad that during the writing of this article, more individuals, children, men and women have perished without ever knowing there was someone like Mr. Blaine willing to make a spectacle out of their greatest fear. But the columnist is right, maybe we’d care more about the starvation stunt if it was done to an animal. We no longer view people as innocents or worthy of our compassion. Maybe because it is so painful to see others in situations we fear or maybe we’ve just developed the defense mechanisms toguard us against caring.

I wonder, often, if Jesus was crucified today, say this weekend, before the Sixth Gameof the World Series, would we watch and would we care much less try to stop theunjust act?

Would we want to have the Fox “Sounds of the Game” option to hear the counting of the lashes he received in the scourging before being brought along the via dela rosa to Calvery? Would we have legal analysts explain why the type of punishment he was receiving was proper or that it was traditional for the condemned man to carry his own cross?

So for Mr. Blaine to starve – if it was not a trick – is a perfect example of despite his best efforts to make the feat entertaining, we just don’t care. He may even proclaim that he is messiah like but we still don’t’ care. I suggest we don’t care because: 1) he’s a human and we don’t really care what happens to humans; 2) he’s a showman, so we know it is just a show; 3) his ears are filled with the echoes of his own praise and doesn’t need ours; 4) he is being paid $8 million dollars to perform the effect; 5) it went on too long.

We like our death-defying acts to be quick. Either fall off the high-wire or stay on. Either get killed by the gun shot to the head or catch the bullet in your teeth. Either drown trying to get the locks off your arms and legs or get out and get dry.

Maybe we can empathize with the magician or artist for the short time it takes them to face death but we lose our compassion or sense of wonder after about an hour.

So, were Jesus to be sentenced to crucifixion today, would we care. The process from start of the judicial proceedings to the end was rather short – that’s good for our television audiences – and the crime for which he would be put to death has great appeal to audiences. But still, there is that long solitary (not including his executors and the jeering crowd) walk up to Calvary. Not much excitement there. I mean, we can see him suffer and bleed from the crown of thorns and the lashings, but other than that, not much going on. We could interview him, perhaps Barbara Walters could do it or Katie Couric.

They could ask the important questions that we would want to know as 21st century Americans. “Is that cross heavy?” “Are you like a suicide martyr?” “What do your followers think of this and aren’t they just a cult?” The more cynical reporters might suggest there was some trick a foot. Bryant Gumbel would ask with condecending tone, “So, you’ll hang on a cross and die after offered bitter wine and getting stabbed in the side, why?” or “Do you regret telling people you were the Son of God?” or “Why are you being so quiet as you walk to your death? Are you depressed?”

But, I suggest, if we crucified a very cute puppy dog or kitty or bunny rabbit – but not a snake – or a panda bear or a koala bear, we’d have compassion. It is not enough that the creature dying from starvation or crucifixion have the wide-eyed look of desperation and pain while awaiting the inevitable. We need the wide-eyed look of a cute creature. We can all feel sorry for a bunny or kitty. I suggest that if we even suggested this as an effect, we’d lose our network deal. People would try to stop us. They’d say it was inhuman and sinful. They may try to kill those who would perform the vivisection or free the critters before we could get them to the cross.

It is unfortunate that Mr. Blaine had to chose such a touchy subject for his stunt and make his messianic claims. It seemed insensitive and it was, for those who are dying right now and those who died for us in war, peace or in a lonely, rocky hilltop outside of Jerusalem. It was insensitive to the moms and dads and children who are dying now from the same stunt inflicted not by some ratings-hungry network but by a military regime that believes the best use of food is to withhold it to kill the innocents that disagree with you.

So, we might not care about David Blaine. We might not even care about the starving children and parents in Africa, or the truly innocent Jesus, but we have hope: we’d still be angry if anyone tried to hurt a bunny or a kitty. It’s not a lot to hang on to, but right now, it’s all we have.

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